


Save me one more time, save me one last time...

by TheUsagi1995



Series: Stories for Season/Series 12 of SPN [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crying Dean Winchester, Crying Sam Winchester, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s12e09 First Blood, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Established Relationship, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, M/M, Season/Series 12, mentions of hallucinations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 12:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9896024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUsagi1995/pseuds/TheUsagi1995
Summary: Another Coda to S12E09 “First Blood.” This one takes place after the boys, make the deal with Billie. We never saw who was the one to follow Billie, because Mary stepped in. But here things are a little bit different, so here is what I think that happened after the boys trapped the soldiers, until they found Mary and Cas. We know that Dean is the one who always sacrifices everything for his family, but is that the case this time as well? And if not, how did  the scene where Billie comes to reap one of the Winchester would go?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, that's yet another coda to 12x09! (Told you that they were many!) This one is rather sad, so I have to warn you about it!!  
> Hope that you'll enjoy it!!
> 
> Special thanks to my awesome beta reader Geekyfangirl131, for helping me out and checking the story!!! I wouldn't be posting it without her!!
> 
> I do not own Supernatural, or any of its characters. The story is written for fun, no money are made by it. 
> 
>  
> 
> WARNINGS!!!!  
> 1)Spoilers for season 12.  
> 2)Spoilers for Season 12 episode 09, “First Blood.”  
> 3)Established Relationship.  
> 4)Established Sam/Dean (Wincest)  
> 5)Mentions Hallucinations
> 
> So, I've said enough, off we go!!!

Thirty-six hours after Billie the Reaper had first appeared in Dean's cell, and several miles away from those cells as well, on a remote, dark road, a car which carried Sam, Dean, Castiel and last but not least Mary, was breaking down. “It's time...” Sam muttered and all four of them exited the car. Thirty-six hours, which to both brothers had seemed as though they were but mere minutes, despite the fact that they had been running within a forest non stop.

 

 

Mere minutes yes, minutes during which they had been together and free, at long last. It didn't really matter that a bunch of highly trained FBI agents were on their tale, not really, for the brothers knew they could take them out. They were finally together, and for all they knew, those hours would be the last they would ever spend accompanying one another. But those hours went by fast, wrapped in the haze of adrenaline, as both Sam, as well as Dean, were called to use every last bit of knowledge John had passed on them about how trained soldiers worked, how they acted and thought. 

 

 

And so, using this knowledge, the brothers managed to trap the soldiers without killing them, winning the fight as well as their freedom. Thus passed those hours, and now, Billie was standing before them one more time. Only this time, the brothers knew she wasn't going to go away that easily. She had come to claim her reward... She had come, to claim the life of a Winchester, forever. Cas and Mary were both lost, not knowing what was going on, but as soon as Billie explained what had taken place and more importantly, what was about to happen, their faces twisted with pain. 

 

“Why would you do this?” Mary questioned, voice quivering, cracking. “I've been in Hell, but this...” Dean said, voice hoarse, rough. “This was worse.” “At least now, one of us gets to keep fighting.” Sam said, honesty feeling his voice. “So, who is it going to be?” Billie questioned, and before any of the brothers could utter a word, Mary stepped forwards, saying that she was a Winchester herself, thus Billie should take her. “Me. I'm a Winchester.” For a few agonizing seconds, Dean thought that his mother would shoot herself, but for better or worse Sam spoke, voice high-pitched and filled with fear. 

 

 

“No, no Billie, you can't take her!” “She's a Winchester, works for me.” The reaper replied at once, but if there was one thing Sam was, that would be stubborn to the bone. “No Billie, if you value your life, you'll take me!” He yelled and saw his mother lowering the gun and slowly turning around to face him and Dean, who was on the ground next to him. “What's that supposed to mean? You'll come after me if I take her? I'd like to see you try kid, I'd like to see you try.” Billie hissed, in a dark tone. 

 

 

“No that's not what I meant. You have to take me. I'm the only one who can keep the world safe.” Sam said and Castiel's ocean blue eyes flew open at the sound of those words. “No Sam... No...” He said taking a step closer to the two brothers. “What does that mean?” Billie questioned, voice impatient. “It means that... That by dying, I'll ensure Lucifer will be kept inside his Cage. I myself will hold him there Billie, you know I am the only one who can do it.” Sam said and Billie raised an eyebrow. “With Lucifer's kid on the wind, we can't afford the dad being somehow freed from the Cage again.” Sam explained, and then paused, swallowing hard.

 

 

“What... How can you hold Lucifer back Sam?” Mary uttered, voice breaking. “It's complicated... But I have done it before.” Sam muttered, shivering at the thought, a shiver only Dean saw. “No, let me correct you here kid, you didn't hold Lucifer captive inside the Cage, you said yes to being possessed by him, and then you somehow managed to throw yourself in the Pit, dragging him with you, since he was in your body.” Billie declared and Dean huffed in annoyance at her tone.

 

“No Billie, now it's different, for he got out using another way, other than the sixty-six seals, so he may find yet another way and get out again. But If I am in the Cage with him, then you will be safe. I will be able to hold him there, and he won't be able to escape.” Sam replied, watching as Mary's face frowned deeply at the sound of such words. “Sam... If you die now, if you throw yourself in the Cage again, I won't be able to...” But Castiel's voice trembled and fainted. “It's fine Cas, I know what you're trying to say.” The young Winchester said, forcing his lips to form a smile, while turning his hazel eyes on his mother one more time.

 

 

“For me, the fact that you, all three of you, will be safe is enough. And that's what matters to me mom, all that's ever, mattered.” The younger Winchester said, lips cracking into a faint smile. Sam's hand was clenching around the gun and his eyes met Dean's for the first time in a while. The green eyed man had been silent for a long time, but now he got up from the ground and reached Sam. He knew everyone expected him to be the one to protest about Sam's decision, and the voice inside his head was screaming at him to do just that. But they had made a deal, and this time, they had to honor it.

 

And more importantly, Dean needed to honor another, more important promise he had made earlier today. He had promised his brother that he would let him go, that he would respect his choices, that he wouldn't try to change his mind, or take his place when Billie would show up. A part of him didn't know how he had agreed to this, but another one did. He had agreed, because when they had finally left the agents behind, and had moved further into the forest, they had come across a small stream. There, they had washed their hands and faces, had drunk clean, cool water.

 

 

And there, Sam had spoken to him, asking him not to let him go through the pain of losing him again, for he simply couldn't bare it. He had begged him to let him be the one to go with Billie, because for him, Dean was all that mattered. He sure did love his mother and Cas, and he would surely die for them in less than a blink of an eye. But he couldn't be without Dean, for it was him Sam needed the most, in every way possible. 

 

 

Dean had started to protest, saying that the idea of calling Billie was his own, so he should be the one to follow her, but Sam wouldn't let him continue. He fell to his knees and stretched his long arms upwards, like a beggar who was reaching out to God. Strong, but tender palms cupped both sides of Dean's wet face and all of a sudden, Dean's emerald green eyes beheld a dreadful and heartbreaking sight. Sam was crying, big, round drops of salty water were marking his cheeks, making his hazel eyes shine under the dim light of the moon. His hands were shaking and as Sam's sleeve was drawn upwards by the movement of his hand, Dean saw markings, lots of markings, on his brother's forearm. Needless it was to count them, for the older hunter knew exactly how many they were.

 

 

As Sam's lips parted, a sob escaped them, and Dean felt his eyes sting at the sight. “Sammy...” The green eyed hunter muttered, as he knelt on the ground in front of his brother. “Sammy I... I can't...” “It's what I want Dean, I can't lose you, not again, not again Dean... Please Dean, Please...” Sam had uttered in a broken voice and the only thing Dean could do, was gather him in his arms, locking them around him... Because he wanted to hold him there, safe, forever safe in his embrace... But he couldn't do that, no matter how much he may have wanted to. Moving a few inches away, so as to take his brother's pained face in his hands, Dean locked his eyes with Sam's. “Sam I can't let you die, I can't handle it-” But Sam cut him off.

 

 

“And you think, I can? I have already been through it twice already and the last time, was not six months ago! You can't do this to me again Dean...” Sam said, voice panicking at the mere thought. “Dean I love you-” “ I know Sammy-” “More than anything. I need you, more than anything, I want to do this for you, and for me too. Being locked up in there...” Sam's voice fainted and his eyes traveled to the many cuts on his arm. 

 

 

Forty-five cuts were carved on Sam's arm, as many as the days they had been in prison. “It was worse than Hell, Dean. So being free, here with you... Those hours are worth it. So please... Let me go, do it for me...” The younger man uttered, as he moved forwards, his lips touching Dean's in a slow, but passionate kiss. “Sammy...” Dean whispered, voice breaking, as he leaned forwards again, pressing his lips on Sam's, applying a little bit more pressure this time. “Promise me Dean...” Sam said in the kiss, and something inside the older man broke that moment. 

 

 

“Promise me it'll be me, that you will let me go.” “No Sam, no I can't, you can't ask this of me... Dad had asked this of me all those years ago, and now you...” But Dean's voice faded as a sob emerged from deep within his throat. Sam ran his long fingers through Dean's short hair, gripping at his scalp, needing his brother to look at him. “I am not asking you to kill me Dean... I am asking you to save me. Save me, from this unbearable pain which is waiting for me if you die. Save me, from going mad again...” Here, Sam paused and Dean's teary eyes were shot open, as realization hit him. 

 

 

 

“You... You've been seeing Lucifer again?” Dean dared to ask and as Sam nodded his head, Dean's heart broke into pieces. “How long?” “Ever since they threw us in those cells...” Sam answered, voice tired and hurt. “So please Dean, I'm begging you... I'm... I am asking you, to save me.” Sam rasped, as he tried his best to keep himself together. “I'm tired of being a burden, of being broken-” “You're neither a burden, nor broken! And even if you are broken Sam, then I'll put you back together, like I have always done, I'll save you, I'll-” But Dean's low, broken voice was cut off by Sam, who was looking at him with so much love in his eyes, that Dean thought he had never seen before.

 

 

“You've saved me... So many times... In so many ways... You've saved my body, my mind, my very own soul...” Sam muttered, lowering his gaze on the ground, letting his hands fall from the sides of Dean's face. “And now I want you to save me one more time. I want you, to save my heart, save it from the pain, from the agony of being plagued by sorrow and fear... Keep it within with you Dean, for it is yours, it belonged to you... It beats for you, and if you're gone, then... Then nothing, not Cas, not mom, not hunting, not anything will be able to fill that hole your death will open.” Sam said, voice low, but solid and truthful. 

 

 

“And why am I any different from you?” Dean questioned, and Sam sighed. “Because of the importance mom and Cas have in your life-” “There ain't no me, if there ain't no you...” Dean muttered, and the Sam bit his lip, for he had heard those words before. “There is nothing, past or present-” Dean started talking and Sam remembered those words, and spoke the second half of he sentence along with his brother. “...That I would put in front of you...” They both said, and looked each other in the eyes. “I know Dean... And that's what I'm asking you... To put me first, over everything else, over your own love for me even... Please... Let me protect you, save me, by letting me save you... Promise me, you will let me do this, Please...” Sam uttered, broken and beaten. 

 

 

“Okay... God knows how I speak those words... But okay... I promise you Sammy. I promise.” “What Dean?” Sam asked, his voice barely audible, a piece of the darkness which was surrounding them. Dean darted his head from side to side, eyes on the ground. “Don't do this to me Sam...” “Dean, please... Promise me.” Sam pleaded yet again, getting Dean's face in his hands. “Alright... I... I promise, I promise I'll let you go with Billie.” Dean muttered, swallowing hard, the lump in his throat choking him. “Thank you...” Sam replied, and Dean had never heard his brother sound so relieved and so desperate at the same time....

 

 

So Sam leaned forwards one more time, one last time, connecting his lips with Dean's, letting his tongue moisturize them. Sliding inside Dean's mouth, Sam let himself get lost in the sensation, moaning low and deep in his throat. His long hands grabbed the back of Dean's neck, bringing the older man even closer, if that could even happen. And Dean wrapped his hands around Sam's lean back again, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, holding on to him as they kissed. And in that kiss, Dean knew that Sam had given him everything he had, everything he could ever be, he had given him his heart, for it was his to keep...

 

 

 

“So, Sammy... You're gonna come, or what?” Billie's voice echoed hard and sharper than a razor's blade in Dean's ears, bringing him back on the present... “You sure about this?” He asked in a low voice. “Cause I can-” “No Dean, not this time. This time you stay, and I go.” Sam whispered, his face only inches from Dean's. “Sammy...” “You have to let me go Dean. You promised me.” Sam replied, letting his right palm rest on Dean's chest, right above his heart. 

 

 

 

His brother needed to stay alive, he had their mother and Cas to watch out for him, to care for him, to love him. But for Sam, Dean was all that mattered, all that had ever mattered. And he was okay with dying for him. Opening his arms, Sam nodded his head and Dean leaned on him, locking his own arms around Sam's broad shoulders for one last time. 

 

 

And deep inside him, Dean couldn't help, but plead, beg, yes beg God who as Dean wanted to think, was watching them at that moment, for a miracle. There had been many times, when they had hugged for seemingly the last time, and yet, each and every time, they would somehow get another chance, one more chance, and one more miracle, and one more hug... So no, Dean couldn't stop himself from hoping, that this would be one of those times. He knew they couldn't always escape death. But he also knew, there was no life without Sam... So he hoped beyond hope, for one more chance, one last chance... For one last miracle...

 

 

Inhaling deeply, Sam felt hot drops on the back of his neck and knew Dean was crying. Crying because this was the end of the line. They were two brothers, two soulmates, two best friends, two lovers, who now had to say goodbye for the last time. They had withstood and fought up against, all kinds of evil creatures. They had met God and His Sister, Satan and the King of Hell. But they had ended up here, and Sam was happy that he would die so that Dean could be free. He was happy that he would die as a free man. 

 

 

Because after surviving 45 days, locked up, all alone, Sam knew that there was no Cage which could hold him anymore, no tormentor who could break him, no demon who could decide for his life. He was free now and this was what he was going to do with his freedom. He was going to die for his mother, for Cas, for the world... For Dean. Yes, that was all Sam needed to think. For Dean, he could and would, do everything. 

 

 

Stepping away from Dean's embrace the next second, Sam inhaled deeply, raising the gun, placing it on his temple, feeling the cold metal on his skin. Mary let out a pained scream and Sam saw blurred images out of the corner of his eye. Castiel moved fast, locking his arms around the blond woman, holding her back so that she wouldn't get in the way. 

 

Casting one last glance over at Dean, who had moved a few inches away, Sam smiled, extending his free hand, which Dean grabbed in a vice-like grip. Their eyes met and they held each other's gaze, ignoring everything and everyone around them.  
Two best friends, against the world.  
Two soulmates, against the world.  
Two lovers, against the world.  
Two brothers, against the world.

 

 

Two brothers? No, not anymore. Because, as Sam mouthed 'I love you' to Dean, a blinding light tore the night sky in half, and through blurred eyes, Sam, Dean and Mary, watched as Billie dropped dead, an angel blade pinned on her back. Two brothers? No, not anymore. For sometime now, there were three brothers. And that, was something Billie hadn't seen coming. Hadn't seen the third Winchester brother letting go of Mary and moving fast, without a sound. Hadn't seen him standing behind her, hadn't seen him raising his Angel blade. She felt it however, as it ripped through her. But it was too late. 

 

She dropped dead, and she would stay that way. Because there were no more extra lives, no more second chances... And cosmic consequences be damned. Three pairs of eyes were looking at Cas as he spoke, filled with awe, fear, disbelief and anger... And as soon as he looked past them, Cas saw the tremendous amount of gratitude. But no words were spoken as they moved the woman's body away, no words were spoken during the rest of the way to the bunker. But it was alright. After all, they wouldn't add anything important.

 

 

What was truly important, was that they had somehow survived for yet another time. That neither Mary, nor Sam had died. And Dean was worried about those freaking consequences, he really was. But Sam, who was now sitting next to Dean in the backseat, had his head leaned on his shoulder for the rest of the ride, and was fast asleep. And Dean couldn't be happier than he was now, for Sam was alive. His Sammy, was alive.

 

 

Dean had been granted one more miracle. He didn't know if it was the last one he would get, but he couldn't care right now. Because all around him, was his family. That for Dean, was enough. And should the world find itself at the brink of destruction? Well, then they would save it. All of them together. For they, were the guys who saved the world.

**Author's Note:**

> So, here it ends! Hope that you enjoyed it!! Please tell me what you think, if you want!! :) If you liked it, note that there is more to come regarding this episode, as well as later episodes!
> 
> Until next time,  
> Love you all,  
> Usagi!!


End file.
